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May 11, 2008


Teri Tith

Hi Laurie,
I am looking forward to meeting you and being on the panel at BlogHer with you. You write so well.

I think it writing is a healing thing. Blogging allows others on that journey with you, allowing you to help other people too.

The BlogHer Conference is going to be so fun. I am nervous too. The panel is too small to represent all the faces of women without children. I hope at least one woman will be an "early articulator" (never wanted them, never will mindset).

See you soon in San Francisco! I wish I had a Presidential suite where we could invite all childless/childfree/non-mom bloggers back for a party!!!


Thanks for the compliment Teri and I'm also so looking forward to this. We'll find a place for a party. : )


Thanks for this thoughtful, intimate reflection. You pour so much of yourself into your writing, and it feels like a privilege to be allowed a glimpse into your superb mind and golden heart.

Baby Smiling In Back Seat

Here from Creme de la Creme.

Several years ago a friend of mine, trying hard at 35+ but having no success finding a partner to create the family she was seeking, declared, "I've decided to join Childless by Choice." And I told her, "You're not childless by choice. You're childless by circumstance, and you probably won't be childless forever. You would be an impostor. What will those ladies think of you when you ditch them to go have babies?"

She didn't join, and soon after she got together with her now-husband, and they now have three kids.

I think "childless by choice" is an accurate description, but childfree encompasses so much more as you say. Then there are those of us who are "currently unwillingly childfree but trying damn hard and in the meantime pretending to be willfully childfree."


Found this older post from your recent comments list and now I'm crying.

Because I'm in the same boat. I did things the "right" way and now I'm 36, divorced, and without kids. And now is not the right time, either.

Those moments when a hyper-fertile family member says, "Christmas is nothing until you've had children" or "My life would have no meaning without my kids" kick me in the gut harder than the divorce ever did.

I really wish I could have been in San Francisco to see your panel.


Thanks for having written this so I don't have to. I have never been a big fan of the "made-up" holidays like this, but I've certainly always done something for my own mother. But I never expected to react quite so bitterly to Mother's Day as I did yesterday. Seeing all of my friends wishing each other happy days on Facebook, seeing all of the blog posts, even the Royals game was filled with Mother's Day. It's just not fair. I don't know how I got to this point in my life. Somedays, like yesterday, it's hard to be satisfied with all that I do have (home, great career, fabulous dog, good friends) when I'm forced to confront smack in the face the one thing I don't have.

Nordette aka Verite

Laurie, this was my first Mother's Day since my mom passed away. I didn't expect to feel the way I do, but when the Mother's Day commercials started, my began watering and that's continued until now. Yet, I didn't cry much when she died in November. It just struck me suddenly this spring that my mother's gone from the planet, despite the reality that she was gone in many ways before her death. She had Alzheimer's.

My daughter is like you, a little younger, but she's always said she wanted children. Lately, without my asking, she's expressed that perhaps she doesn't. I don't know if this is how she really feels or is she trying to persuade herself that children aren't important to her because she sees no mate in sight, and like you wouldn't pull in anyone to be a parent just for the sake of having a child.

Your post is moving and well-written. I should drop by more often. :-)


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Edward Ardelean

This website was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I've found something that helped me. Appreciate it!

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