Christmas

I am an overtired cynic in bed wearing a red t-shirt with Santa Claus and "I believe" stamped on it.

I am an agnostic cultural Catholic who departs sharply from grace with my suspicion that perhaps Jesus Christ did not rise from the tomb. I spent the past hour watching CNN's Jesus documentary, trying to get a grip on all of it.

I haven't written here in a long time, since the end of school kicked in I guess. It hasn't been the easiest time, anyway...not so interested in keeping anyone apprised of it. I'm a little sick of me right now.

But it's Christmas and I'm working with this. It's a holiday that for whatever reason gets a lot of press and a lot of play. It's an amazing phenomenon really. I got into it late this year. I'm broke and utterly exhausted. I need a day to just sit and stare at a wall or an ocean. But that isn't happening, and what we have instead is tomorrow with my whole family pretty much.

And then my birthday two days later. And then new years. And that's the one day I'm looking forward to most of all.